


Promptember 2019: Confusion

by cowboyguy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Autistic Sam Winchester, Gen, Nonverbal Character, Promptember, Weechesters, semi-verbal character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 08:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20524871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboyguy/pseuds/cowboyguy
Summary: Maybe none of them have quite figured out this life yet.





	Promptember 2019: Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 3 of my Promptember challenge.

When Dean is seven years old, he doesn't understand why his brother screams all the time. 

Why Sam pulls at the hand-me-down t-shirts and cries if Dad tries to put him into anything but the blue one. 

Why Sam doesn't sleep at the right time and spends hours wandering around the motel room in the middle of the night, opening and closing all of the drawers. Over and over and over. 

Why he squirms away when Dean or Dad tries to hug him, but squeals with delight when Dean lays down on top of him, pressing his body into the couch like a little Sam sandwich. 

Why he can say "Scooby-Dooby-Doo!" and sing the Reading Rainbow song and shout "Turtle Power!" at the top of his lungs, but he won't say "Dean" or "Dad" or tell them when he's hungry. 

\----------

When Dean is seven and Sammy is four and they're all just barely hanging on, John wonders if he's really screwed up taking care of his kids.

If driving around until Sam falls asleep because it won't happen any other way is bad for Dean. 

If it's his fault that Sam isn't talking yet. 

If Dean doesn't mind not knowing any other kids his own age, never staying in the same town long enough to make friends. He remembers long afternoons outside from his own childhood, hide and seek in the woods and model cars and sledding down snow-covered hills. 

If he accidentally broke his youngest son before he ever really got to know him. 

John doesn't know if he's doing this right. 

\----------

bright bright FLASHY LIGHTS white and RED and yellow yellow yellow 

car

car

hum hum rumble hum

smells bad big room

SCRATCHY BLANKETS 

NO NO NO NO

"Sammy-it's-okay" 

dark and dark and soft and dark 

scratch

hum

scratch

rumble

scratch

light

itchy itchy bright loud BEEP BEEP BEEP

NONONONONONONO--

"Sammy-it's-okay" 

soft and soft and small lights and blue shirt

BLUE shirt BLUE shirt

blueblueblueblueblue**yes**blue

"Let's-eat-breakfast-Sammy" 

crunchy crunchy cold crunchy

white bowl white spoon

light light light pictures light

TURTLE POWER! 

"That's-right-buddy" 

TURTLE POWER! TURRRRRTLE POWWWER! 

"You-can-be-Donatello" 

hmmmm crunchy

hmmmm pictures

hmmmm Dean

hmmmm soft

hmmmm Sammy it's okay


End file.
